No Title For Life

A tea tin of seeds
A door left unbarred
A page kept dry
For whoever comes after

Pixel rain on a side-scrolling street
Racing all night on electric roads
We play all night till the sunrise loads

I pass the river where we said goodbye
The water holds its breath as I walk by

The more you see the more you do
The television’s feeding you
With what you want to hear
Anger and fear, because you suffer

The hate you feel won’t go away
You’re all programmed to feel this way
To live another day
In a world that longs to suffer

I tried to be nice, I tried to live my life, I tried to forgive, I tried to live and let live, and everybody else thinks of no one but themselves, and no one wants to help cause they’re all assholes, and every friendly chat is a knife in the back; a sneaky attack waiting to happen

I tried not to mind, I tried to be so kind, I tried to let love rule, but I feel like such a fool, and they’re out there even now trying to mess me up somehow, but they won’t stop me now, and they’re planning while I sleep, and even as we speak, to strike when I am weak

It’s time to defend, I know I have no friends, I’ve got to get them first, cause worst has come to worst, but they put the blame on me, pretending not to see that I just want to be free

But I couldn’t take their shit, so I tried to deal with it, I tried to overlook and I tried to close the book, I tried not to talk shit, but I just couldn’t help it, they called it assault but it really wasn’t my fault

I’ve had my lungs checked out with x-rays
I’ve smelled the hospital hallways

I’ve watched the summer evenings pass by
I’ve heard the rattle in my bronchi

Someday I’ll have a disappearing hairline
Someday I’ll wear pajamas in the daytime

Afternoons will be measured out with coffee spoons

Found trouble in the town I came from

Left six months ago or so

Had to run from the men I wronged there

With no aim as to where to go

High heel lady spitting at the nickajacks

Business man with a needle and a spoon

Coyote chewing on a cigarette

Pack of young boys going howling at the moon

Not to pull your halo down, around your neck and tug you to the ground

But I’m more than just a little curious how you’re planning to make your amends to the dead

With your halo slipping down to choke you now

I am sorry this is always how it goes, the wind blows loudest when you’ve got your eyes closed, but I never changed a single color that I breathe, so you could have tried to take a closer look at me

I am tired of punching in the wind, I am tired of letting it all in, and I should eat you up and spit you right out, I should not care, but I don’t know how

I am sorry for the trouble, I suppose, my blood runs red, but my body feels so cold
I guess I could swim for days in the salty sea, but in the end, the waves will discolor me

So I take off my face because it reminds me of how it all went wrong
And I pull out my tongue because it reminds me of how it all went wrong
And I cough up my lungs because they remind me of how it all went wrong
But I leave in my heart because I don’t want to stay in the dark